He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
