Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You're a waste of cheezeits
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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