I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
