if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
