you traded sex for a burrito?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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