my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
