My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
