he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
