I'm going to rape someone's good day.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You've changed since you got that strap on
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
