I'm lost and stupid without you.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
