I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
