go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
