She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
