I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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