I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
