Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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