she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
