I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
