Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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