There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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