Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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