Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
