I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have peed in a lot of sinks
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
