Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
