I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
