So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
