So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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