Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
