dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
