a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just googled if crying burns calories
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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