Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
