How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
