you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
