it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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