i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
