It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i out mim tonsoeep
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