hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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