Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
