I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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