I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He passed out mid-signature
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
