On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
