I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
