Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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