apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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