He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
