see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
