I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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