Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
