Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
