do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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