yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
