i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
